I’ve Figured It Out

September 1, 2010 § 4 Comments

It’s not that I don’t know what to write, it’s that I don’t know that anyone would want to read what I have to say, so I don’t bother.  I’ve always been one of those people who has felt that writing is meant to be read.  There isn’t much point to writing just to write.  Yeah, I know that isn’t necessarily the case.  Maybe I’m just narcissistic.  But it feels like wasted effort to write and have nothing come of it.

Then again, this could just be my current mood because it seems like everything I’ve done today has been a wasted effort.  I did get a lot done at work, but for the simple results, it feels like a lot of time was spent on something relatively pointless in the whole scheme of things.  That’s life, though, I guess.

But on a completely unrelated note, I am feeling the need to clean.  I’m sure that it’s partially due to the fact that my boyfriend’s finally coming back into town next weekend and the house desperately needs a thorough de-gunking (it sucks keeping up a house when you’re working 6 days a week with no one around to help), but I think a lot of it is that the seasons are changing and I always feel the need to clean when the seasons change.  Granted, you can’t really tell because it’s 90 degrees outside, but I know fall’s around the corner.

Plus cleaning seems almost spiritual.  Maybe it’s the OCD in me, but when I clean, I CLEAN.  I can spend four hours cleaning my relatively small living room because if you’re not going to do it right, don’t bother doing it.  (Thanks for that, dad.)  Which is more than likely why I don’t clean as often as I should as well…  I know that if I start, I’m going to be occupied with it for the rest of the night.  And after working 9 or 10 hour days, the last thing I want to do is get caught in cleaning mode for the next four or five hours.

So I’m thinking maybe this three day weekend will be filled with nothing other than cleaning.  I’m a bit too poor to go out and do anything anyways, so it’s probably for the best.  I need to get the ex-husband over here to help go through the office, too…  I’m tired of having clutter in my house.  And unfortunately, he’s a packrat and didn’t take everything when he moved out.  :[  Not that I have anything to put in the office… But it’ll be nice to have it cleaned up, nonetheless.

…Pretty sure this entry couldn’t get any more mundane.


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§ 4 Responses to I’ve Figured It Out

  • I clean when I don’t know what to write, and I write when I don’t want to clean. I just write about whatever whim is running through my head at the time. It’s pretty hit and miss on whether people read it, but if one person likes it then I did something. “There is no love apart from the deeds of love; no potentiality of love other than that which is manifested in loving; there is no genius other than that which is expressed in works of art.” So write, even if it is just for the sake of making your thought exist outside of your own mind.

    • Unfortunately, there’s not always much running through my head… Lol. Usually just the mundane “work sucks,” “I wish today was over already,” “I don’t have enough money to pay all these bills” stuff. 😛

      I should write more often. As a nerd, writing feels good. I do miss it…

  • Pastor Glen says:

    I think writing can be good therapy even if no one else reads it. Think of it as a diary. By writing things down (or up on the screen :)) you get a chance to think through things and make some order out of otherwise random thoughts.
    I know this helps me.

  • Jung says:

    I try to write regardless of whether I feel that anyone will read it or not, but I’m still much more motivated when I’m writing about something that I think people will want to read. I can’t particularly help that, ha.

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